it's surprising enough to mineo that he doesn't pull away he just - freezes up a little.
like despite all his warm gestures for everyone else, the extended hands and the easygoing smiles - he's not sure what to do when the same is offered to him. he feels like it'd be selfish to lean into the touch.]
You're not pathetic for wanting to believe in someone. Even if things didn't turn out how you hoped, that doesn't reflect on you. And it definitely doesn't mean you're unworthy of friendship, or whatever nonsense you've got in your head right now.
You're kind, and you have a big heart. If anything, that makes you more deserving of friends.
[ . . . . he pulls away - not enough to break the hug, but enough to look luca in the eye]
.... I gave up, Valentino-san.
I gave up on finding the truth about my friend because I was - stupid, and scared. I don't know anything about what happened to him, and I... I just couldn't take it.
Even after Yanagi-senpai tried to get through to me, and even stupid Takeru didn't leave me alone - .... I don't blame anybody for giving up on me.
[Luca was about to say something possibly poignant about fear. Maybe. Sometimes Luca has his moments.
But Mineo is looking him in the eye, so.
---
A teenaged Luca is sitting in a wooden chair. He's trying to sit up straight and keep a calm demeanor, but every so often he starts picking at his sleeves, betraying his nervousness. On either side of him sits his parents, both in their late 40s, both with the beginnings of gray showing up in their hair.
Across from them sits a man in his early 50s, also with greying hair. Next to him sits a young woman about Luca's age. While everyone else is sitting up and behaving properly, she is the only one who gives away any emotion on her face. While she is sitting like a lady, she is looking elsewhere, clearly bored by the conversation.
Luca is only half-listening in on the conversation, as he keeps glancing at the girl.
"He will take the Valentino name and provide an heir for the family within five years."
"What allowances will our family receive?"
"Those are outlined here in this section. He will have no claim to the Vaalentino shipping business, nor to its fortunes, beyond his monthly allowances."
"And we will retain rights for alternating holidays?"
"Of course. And your family will have invitations to the usual firsts: birthday, baptism, naming ceremony, and so on."
It's a lot of talk that Luca has no control over, and even hearing it makes him anxious. He's not sure how much he likes having his own life signed away without a thought paid to what he wants. But that's how things are done, isn't it? Marriage is for money and family security. If love happens to grow then so be it, but it's not a requirement. Contracts don't determine feelings, after all.
After a while, Luca finally manages to catch the girl's gaze, and he offers her a small smile. She just gives him a disinterested look and glances away again, and Luca's smile falls almost as quickly as it had appeared.
There's going to be no love here, he's sure of that. Especially not once his very personal secret is out. His father had told him not to tell anyone, and that it could ruin the deal, but Luca wonders if listening to it is wise.
'It doesn't matter in a marriage,' his father said, 'Those bedroom moments are few and far between, and only for making children. You'll get used to it. Marriage will suit you.'
Luca hopes his father is right. Currently all he can see is a path of restrictions and contracts and punishments for not staying in line. But what can he do? He can't stop this. As much as he doesn't want his life to be decided for him, he's too much of a coward to even think about running away.
---
By the end of it, Luca is pulling away from Mineo entirely, so that he can cover his eyes with his hand. He really hates this.]
and mineo pauses for a beat - before it becomes his turn to reach out to luca, he thinks. he doesn't offer a hug, nothing so direct, but his hand does gently circle around luca's wrist, holding onto him so he doesn't go too far away.]
... Valentino-san....
[ . . . . ]
You deserve better than that.
[plainly. sincerely. because he doesn't know what else to say, or how to reconsider his words to be something less blunt.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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tries to walk away now, too.]
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And yeah. That memory is a lot, but it's not enough to turn Luca way. If anything, it makes him feel a pang of sympathy for Mineo.
And as soon as Mineo is walking away, Luca is chasing after him and trying to grab his wrist.]
Mineo, wait-
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but! but. mineo will at least pause at that when his wrist is grabbed - ]
... sorry, Valentino-san.
I don't know if I feel like putting how pathetic I am on display for that much longer.
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... why not?
I don't really - [have anything to offer]
.... you've got better things to do, right?
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[And he's going to try to tug Mineo into a loose hug. It's easy for Mineo to break free from if he wants, Luca is just trying to offer comfort.
...he's not used to doing it, but he's Trying.]
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it's surprising enough to mineo that he doesn't pull away he just - freezes up a little.
like despite all his warm gestures for everyone else, the extended hands and the easygoing smiles - he's not sure what to do when the same is offered to him. he feels like it'd be selfish to lean into the touch.]
.... I'm not -
[he doesn't deserve this.]
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You're kind, and you have a big heart. If anything, that makes you more deserving of friends.
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.... I gave up, Valentino-san.
I gave up on finding the truth about my friend because I was - stupid, and scared. I don't know anything about what happened to him, and I... I just couldn't take it.
Even after Yanagi-senpai tried to get through to me, and even stupid Takeru didn't leave me alone - .... I don't blame anybody for giving up on me.
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But Mineo is looking him in the eye, so.
---
A teenaged Luca is sitting in a wooden chair. He's trying to sit up straight and keep a calm demeanor, but every so often he starts picking at his sleeves, betraying his nervousness. On either side of him sits his parents, both in their late 40s, both with the beginnings of gray showing up in their hair.
Across from them sits a man in his early 50s, also with greying hair. Next to him sits a young woman about Luca's age. While everyone else is sitting up and behaving properly, she is the only one who gives away any emotion on her face. While she is sitting like a lady, she is looking elsewhere, clearly bored by the conversation.
Luca is only half-listening in on the conversation, as he keeps glancing at the girl.
"He will take the Valentino name and provide an heir for the family within five years."
"What allowances will our family receive?"
"Those are outlined here in this section. He will have no claim to the Vaalentino shipping business, nor to its fortunes, beyond his monthly allowances."
"And we will retain rights for alternating holidays?"
"Of course. And your family will have invitations to the usual firsts: birthday, baptism, naming ceremony, and so on."
It's a lot of talk that Luca has no control over, and even hearing it makes him anxious. He's not sure how much he likes having his own life signed away without a thought paid to what he wants. But that's how things are done, isn't it? Marriage is for money and family security. If love happens to grow then so be it, but it's not a requirement. Contracts don't determine feelings, after all.
After a while, Luca finally manages to catch the girl's gaze, and he offers her a small smile. She just gives him a disinterested look and glances away again, and Luca's smile falls almost as quickly as it had appeared.
There's going to be no love here, he's sure of that. Especially not once his very personal secret is out. His father had told him not to tell anyone, and that it could ruin the deal, but Luca wonders if listening to it is wise.
'It doesn't matter in a marriage,' his father said, 'Those bedroom moments are few and far between, and only for making children. You'll get used to it. Marriage will suit you.'
Luca hopes his father is right. Currently all he can see is a path of restrictions and contracts and punishments for not staying in line. But what can he do? He can't stop this. As much as he doesn't want his life to be decided for him, he's too much of a coward to even think about running away.
---
By the end of it, Luca is pulling away from Mineo entirely, so that he can cover his eyes with his hand. He really hates this.]
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and mineo pauses for a beat - before it becomes his turn to reach out to luca, he thinks. he doesn't offer a hug, nothing so direct, but his hand does gently circle around luca's wrist, holding onto him so he doesn't go too far away.]
... Valentino-san....
[ . . . . ]
You deserve better than that.
[plainly. sincerely. because he doesn't know what else to say, or how to reconsider his words to be something less blunt.]
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[But he's not pulling away. He's not actually mad or anything. He just wants Mineo to think better of himself.
He's moving to pinch at the bridge of his nose, though, before ultimately letting go of his face entirely.]
Treat yourself with a little more kindness, and I'll consider doing the same.
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.... I think the me from before is still pretty lame. But I... I'm trying a lot harder now, and I think that counts for something.
[no one really got to see him before this - no one but takeru. and mineo thinks he deserves all of that abuse hurled his way.]
So if I can admit that much - can you cut yourself a little slack and let yourself be happier?
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[And, since Mineo is trying-]
...I'll try to find some happiness for myself. I'm not quite sure what I even want, but I'll try.
[He'll try not to be a coward who just goes along with what others want. He can't stand being so unsatisfied with his life anymore.]
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Then let's figure that out first, alright? If I'm supposed to look for help... then you should too, Valentino-san.
I'll lend you a hand, however that looks like.
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[His problems are decidedly "Luca needs to stand up for himself", and Mineo might actually be good for that.]
I don't know why, but talking with you makes me want to be a better person.
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[and he'll clap a hand on luca's shoulder then, giving it a squeeze]
I think you're already a good person, Valentino-san. But I'll always support you in what you want, too.
[he's so sincere about it.... terrible]
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You think that even though I'm pretty much the antithesis of you?
[Sweet boy who wants to be loved vs. jaded adulterer]
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Because you're smarter than me and can do math?
[HE DOESN'T THINK HE AND LUCA ARE THAT DIFFERENT]
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...nevermind. I forgot how pure and kind your soul is.
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I'm pretty sure it's just 'cause I've got no reason not to be nice to you, Valentino-san.
I've actually got a temper and get crazy stubborn - but I don't have a reason to be mad when I'm with you.
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[Wait no what is he doing.]
You can't just say things like that and keep addressing me so formally. So call me Luca.
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. . . he looks surprised but.]
Yeah...? Luca.... -san?
[???? he's trying to figure out how comfortable he's allowed to be]
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[The fuck is a Japanese pronoun.]
Though I commend you on being able to say my name properly. So many people struggle with it.
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[
the exception to the rule is takeru]
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